"MAN vs MAN" - THIS MAN’S VIEW OF CONFLICT AND RESOLUTION – Part 1                 

(The context of this discussion is my experience with conflict and resolution principles in the United States versus what I see in Jamaica.  The lifestyle choices of ‘warring,’  ‘malicing (not talking with each other),’ and various other negative manifestations of conflict without resolution)

 

“Keep your tongue from sin and your lips from speaking lies. Turn away from what is sinful. Do what is good. Look for peace and follow it.”  -  Psalm 34:13-15 New Life Version (NLV)

 

THE BEGINNING

As a child, in my parents’ home in Kingston and New York, I saw several bouts of conflict with neighbors, friends and even within the home itself with my mom and dad.   One obvious aspect of the conflicts that I saw and understood was that I never experienced violence or what we would term ‘warring’ as a result of these episodes.  My parents and their friends were uniquely different in that there was no ignoring the problem, no ignoring the person, it was always handling it and getting over it. 
 
Because of that foundation, I cannot really remember having a problem with brother or sister that had caused us to be alienated from each other.  We had a good relationship, still do, and differences were handled through communication without a ‘war.’   That method had been a lifestyle for me, I may be in disagreement with my peers but I strive to not be disagreeable.  Many times taking the wrong when I believe I am right.  Those with whom I may be in conflict assume that I have taken a position because I believe I was in the wrong, rather, I do what I do because of the scripture listed above.  We must “seek peace and pursue it.”

So when I am met with a vindictive nature, retaliatory and deceiving attitudes and coercive actions I am significantly challenged.   And, unfortunately I see that in the lives of those that should be leaders and Christian mentors for our people.

SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION
I was with a small group of teens and twenty year olds and asked them to tell me how they viewed, handled and lived with conflict in their lives.  It was an interesting and engaging discussion that I will be using for this series.  We shared these main points that we will elaborate on in later discussions:
 

1.            Conflict in our Spiritual Life

2.            Conflict in our Work Life
3.            Conflict in our Personal Life (family and friends)

 

 
It was evident to all that a lot of us have the ability to compartmentalize the various areas mentioined and deal with them separately but there is a place where these three areas converge that can cause some difficulty for us. For example, when we work with the same people that we live with, and may also worship with.    This causes a higher level of conflict resolution and accountability for our personal interaction with the world around us.
 
MEN AND WOMEN
Now, also realize that men and women do have different ways of handling conflict and that is also influenced by cultural norms, expectations and experience.   A man’s approach, from his natural instinct is to conquer  and defeat the enemy.  He is apt to be physical, loud and animated with other men in conflict.  Conflict with women may be another scenario altogether where he is docile or to another extreme can be physically abusive. 

However we deal with conflict, there must be a biblical foundation to the process that we employ in:
 

a)  our daily (routine),

b)  in our communication;  and

c)  in handling those situations that can be incendiary for good reason or for no reason at all.    

THE GROUPS OBSERVATION

The group offered another observation from their experience in home, school and community:  Conflict begins and is processed through these basic steps:

                1.            Offence (internal perception of a wrong done to you)

                2.            Verbal argument ensues

                3.            Physical escalation of the argument

                4.            Malice (ignoring the person for a season)

A GOOD POINT

One teenager made a very interesting observation.  He said, “Rev.  It is usually our friends or those close to us that we have these problems with and not our enemies.  Then our enemies sit back and watch us and laugh because we are unable to handle our relationship in a better way.”
 
MENTORING AND GUIDING THROUGH CONFLICT
We can use teaching, experience or just sheer brute force to thrust us through a season of conflict.  I see  a variety of options at our disposal but I have discovered that witin the arsenal of good weaponry there are some not so good ones that I need to discuss also.  
 
For example, “attempting to influence through emotional blackmail or coercion.”   This I believe is not usually the man’s way of dealing with conflict but I do think that that the matriarchal influence has resulted in an emasculation of young men. Now, our methods of handling relationships is floundering from God’s and a man’s natural instincts in interpersonal conflict resolution

[END PART 1]

 

 

 

               

 

 

 

 

JAMAICA’S 1860 REVIVAL

After delivering his messages in Bethel Town, the missionary proposed a prayer gathering at dawn to be held on Monday morning. Five hundred people attended. Another meeting was then announced for Monday evening, presided over by a local preacher.

At the conclusion of the service, and just as the final petition was presented, “the Spirit was poured out, and the mighty rev...ival movement had commenced in real earnest,” it was said. The people would not leave the chapel. The missionary was notified and he hastened back on Wednesday evening to witness unforgettable scenes, with as many as one hundred hardened sinners prostrated at once. A dozen couples “living in sin” published “the banns” for legal marriage in a Christian ceremony.

At Mount Carey chapel a crowd of twelve hundred people gathered by 11 a.m. the gathering of with many standing outside. A sensation was caused when about seven hearers were prostrated, much to the alarm of the local leadership. In these three places, 3,000 sinners were spiritually “awakened.” They were typical of scenes throughout the island. . (from “EVENT OF THE CENTURY by J Edwin Orr)

JAMAICA’S 1860 REVIVAL

The most notable feature of this awakening was prayer. People whose lips seemed solely accustomed to curse and to swear now prayed as fluently as if such petition had been the daily employment of their lives.

The prayer meetings seemed to generate a supernatural force which carried the multitudes along on a wave of irresistible power which, in turn, produced passionate rep...entance, astonishing moral reformation and fervent longing to know and love and serve the Lord Jesus Christ.

There is one very exciting private journal of the period, penned by a Moravian missionary, the Rev. Theodor Sonderman, which gives us a glimpse into the beginnings of the revival movement. When he visited Clifton he was told that a strange meeting was going on, so he rode on until he met a crowd of people, some weeping for joy, others under deep conviction, and others bewildered by the events.

He tried to allay excitement, but while himself engaged in prayer, his own feelings overpowered him, so he felt it wise ‘to leave them to the direction of the Holy Spirit.’     From J EDWIN ORR’S “Event of the Century”

JAMAICA'S 1860 REVIVAL: REVIVAL BEGINNINGS

It was during September 1860, that this unprecedented evangelical awakening began among the Moravians in St. Elizabeth Parish, in the southwest. It soon spread like wild fire, first to the three parishes of St. James, Hanover, and Westmoreland, causing a sensation in local congregations, regardless of denomination. Eastwards the movement quickened Mandevi...lle and spread along the coast to villages and hamlets, eventually affecting the entire island - from Montego Bay to St. Thomas, from St. Ann’s Bay to Savanna-la-Mar.

There was widespread conviction of sin, crime lessened, ethical standards were raised, old superstitions lost their power, broken marriages were healed, many left their lovers and returned to their families, and thousands of co-habiting couples were united in Christian marriage.

Drunkards became abstainers, former blasphemers invoked the name of God with respect and holy fear, rum shops and gambling houses were closed and prodigal children were reclaimed. The moral landscape of the nation was dramatically transformed during these months of the revival.

(Excerpted from J EDWIN ORR'S "Events of the Century")

JAMAICA REVIVAL 1860 - Part 2

JAMAICA’S 1860 REVIVAL: By early 1860 there had developed a confident expectation that God would soon visit the Jamaican church, but no one anticipated the ‘copious showers’ that were soon to fall, for two glorious years. Soon the pattern of earnest prayer, followed by the conviction of sins and painful penitence, and then outright conversions, commenced. What began with small revival prayer meeti...ngs became an awakening of the masses.

Almost every place of worship was crowded to capacity, for it seemed the whole population wanted to hear the good news of Christ. Backsliders returned. Thousands were converted and baptized. Great numbers sought admission to church membership, including more young people than one missionary had seen in 30 years. Reading of the Bible, praise, prayer, and preaching became the norm during the first phase of revival.

JAMAICA REVIVAL 1860 - Part 1

The Jamaican Revival (1860): As news of the Laymen’s Prayer Revival in America reached the Caribbean island nation of Jamaica, churches began praying for a similar outpouring. “Peep of day” (dawn) prayer meetings were organized across the islands so Christians could gather for prayer before going out into the fields to work.

Most of these prayer meetings were organized at plantations and were well attended. As people prayed, anticipation of an imminent revival heightened. By 1860, most Christians believed God would send them revival by year’s end, but none anticipated the intensity of the showers of blessing they were about to receive. (Excerpt from the book "10 Greatest Revivals in the Earth")

REVIVE US!

"GOD, God-of-Heaven, the great and awesome God, loyal to your covenant and faithful to those who love you and obey your commands: Look at me and hear my prayer. Pay attention to this prayer of your servant that I am praying day and night in intercession for your servants, the people of the islands of the sea, confessing the sins of the people. And I am including myself, I and my ancestors, my brothers and sisters among those who have sinned against you.


"We have treated you like you are nothing: We have not done what you told us, have not followed your commands, and have not respected the decisions and instructions you have given unto us. You said if we come back to you and do what you tell us to do, you will mark us with your name, deliver us and revive us.

"Well, here we are — your servants, your people whom you so powerfully and impressively redeemed. O Master, listen to me, listen to your servant's prayer—and yes, to all your servants who delight in honoring you—and make me successful today so that I receive what I pray for."

Open the heavens and come down, make yourself known unto me and your people in the islands of the sea and make manifest your name in all the earth. REVIVE US AGAIN!

BIBLE STUDY AND HOLY SPIRIT MEETING (KINGSTON, JA)

ARE WE MEEK OR WEAK?

Mayra Martin (FB) wrote: A Christian writer wrote, “If someone were to ask whether communications skills or meekness is most important to a relation ship, I’d answer meekness, hands down. You can be a superb communicator but still never have the humility to ask, ‘Is it I?’ Communication skills are no substitute for Christ like attributes. As Dr. Douglas Brinley has observed, ‘Without theological perspectives, secular exercises designed to improve our relationship and our communication skills will never work any permanent change in one’s heart: they simply develop more clever and skilled fighters!”




― John By the way, When Times Are Tough: 5 Scriptures That Will Help You Get Through Almost AnythingSee More

ARE WE MEEK OR WEAK?

Sister Myra, an Interesting and poignant commentary. The writer you cited is absolutely on target in his observation. Meekness is by far not something that I see in many of our contemporaries who attempt to correct or instruct. We correct, instruct and chide because of our desire to control and not always to be the guiding light that the Lord would desire.
 
In that same light, I see a caustic and abrasive method of communication that is camouflaged in ‘thus saith the Lord.’ It is especially challenging when those closest to us cannot communicate on a normal level but would couch their insecurities, wants and aspirations in what the “Lord said” when we know quite well that He did not utter nor inspire no such revelation or word.
 
So what is "meekness?" The word "meekness" comes from the Greek word prautes, which depicts the attitude or demeanor of a person who is forbearing, patient, and slow to respond in anger; one who remains in control of himself in the face of insults or injuries. In the Greek language, the word prautes("meekness") conveys the idea of a high and noble ideal to be aspired to in one's life. Although an injurious situation may normally produce a rash or angry outburst, a meek person is controlled by kindness, gentleness, mildness, or even friendliness. 
 
The word "meekness" pictures a strong- willed person who has learned to submit his will to a higher authority. He isn't weak; he is controlled. He may in fact possess a strong will and a powerful character; he may be a person who has his own opinion. But this person has learned the secret of submitting to those who are over him. Thus, he is one who knows how to bring his will under control. In rare instances, the word prautes("meekness") was used to describe wild animals that had become tame because it correctly conveyed the idea of a wild, fierce will under control.
 
This means when the Spirit is producing meekness in your life, you are controlled even in difficult circumstances. Rather than fly into a rage and throw a temper tantrum, you are able to remain silent and keep your emotions and temper under control. If you find yourself in a situation that you fiercely believe is wrong, you are still able to stay silent until the appropriate moment to speak or until you have been asked for your opinion. You know how to control yourself and your emotions.

In addition to these meanings, the word "meekness" was also used in a medical sense to denote soothing medication to calm the angry mind. A meek person doesn't project the countenance of one who is offended, upset, angry, or reactive to insults or injuries. Instead, he is so gentle and mild in his response that he becomes soothing medicine for the angry or upset soul, or for a troublesome or unsettling situation.

So take a moment to examine the way you respond to insults, injuries, or volatile situations. Do you find that you are often a contributor to a heated and potentially explosive atmosphere? Or does your presence bring peace into the midst of the conflict? When others say or do something that could offend you, do you quickly retort with a harsh answer, or are you able to control your emotions and temper, remaining silent until a more appropriate time to speak?

The flesh loves to rage out of control, but when meekness is being produced in you by the Holy Spirit, it will make you careful and controlled. Your very presence will become God's soothing medication for angry, upset people, and you will impart peace to situations that hitherto were unsettling and unstable.

A case in point is one of my recent posting http://www.facebook.com/#!/notes/pastor-winston-watson/recognizing-pride-knowing-yourself/10151154301015399

Blessings

(Sparkling Gems from the Greek by Rick Renner)

HARRIET TUBMAN - FREEDOM FROM SLAVERY

"I freed thousands of slaves. I could have freed more, if they had known they were slaves." -Harriet Tubman

I was reflecting on the many Birthday greetings, the hurricane, our season of prayer, my season of fasting to begin again, when I saw a post from Pastor Maurice in NY.

It borders on a sharp sword penetrating a veil and ripping it to threads to open up a vista of opportunity and insight. Do we dread truth? This is truth that must be embraced both spiritually and naturally? Realize that there is indeed a slavery 'upon' us that we must shed with all our might and with divine wisdom.
 
Let us all earnestly flee from the 'bondage' of 'religion,' social bondage and politicalism (my word) that keeps us ignorant and carries an opium like stupor for the masses. Political bondage that territorializes our thoughts and actions rendering us incapable of rational thought and actions. 
 
Christianity, my own system of beliefs, does not say accept the status quo but say, "we can be better that we have been!" We must strive for the masteries and pursue excellence and success with all that is within us.
 
Run my friends, run with all your might the race set before you as you see your own GOLD at the end! Selah!

3 TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS

Each relationship is unique becaue of the various combinations of traits and characteristics of and circumstances related to the people involved. Although every relationship is different, I beleive all relationship may be categorized in these three major types. The types tend to indicate the primary reason for the relationship in the first place or at times the evloution of a relationship. They are: 1) Social, 2) Intimate, 3) Therapeutic

The social relationship's function is for friendship, companionship, socializatoin or can be forged because of a common task or purpose. Communication here may be superficial, casual and requires little emotional investment for the most part.

An Intimate relationship on the other hand is much more complex. It involves two people who are emotionally committed to each other. The individuals are interested in havinig their needs met and also meeting the needs of the other party. This kind of relationship may include the physical side of intimacy as well as a sharing of mutual goals, vision and lifestyle.

Then we have the Therapeutic relationship type. It focuses on the needs, experiences, feelings and ideas of the other party. Therapeutic relationships are usually one way, directed to support, enhance, correct, nurture or develop the other party into a better person and can be even seen in the context of mentoring or coaching.

MY OBSERVATION
Which do you want to focus on in your personal relationship and marriage? A marriage cannot be viewed as therapeutic in its entire context but there may be aspects of personal development that each individual experiences. When one person begins to correct, and provide "therapy" to another it no longer becomes a marriage but another kind of relationship. It cannot be just a social interacton either but must also have its season of intimacy.

As individuals, we all have our own boundaries, likes, dislikes and we must communicate those with those with whom we are in relationship. It is incumbent on us to always be open and sharing, listening and at least attempting to understand the context and heart of what is being communicated with us.

What challenges us, and our relatioinships is the need to control. Our empirical context of relathionships may be flawed, or it may be on target for our life as an individual. But, how does that play into a new relationship, do we carry the template of our former relationships, our family life, our personal biases (good or bad) to dictate the ongoing parameters of where we are headed in marriage or close friendships?

We read self help books, study well meaning authors, view and listen to men's experiences but does it all relate to the indivually unique bond of relationiship for us? I want to encourage each one of you to begin a new paradigm of thought for where you are headed - is this how Mom did it? is this how the book told me to do it? is this what the TV Counselor said? or we may ask ourselves, is this my own preconception of what this relationship should be.

Let's awake to the reality that the framework of your relationship depends on parameters that you define, the constrants and liberties that you decide. A clear communication of that template and its deployment will yield a great and ongoing interaction or bring misunderstandings and misinterpretations. Additionally, unexpressed expectations not included in the original framework can cause the whole house to crumble when they are introduced and our partner is blindsided by their introduction. The relationship tapestry of our life is made up of a variety of experiences, desires, thoughts, and other intangibles - where do you want to go in your life with this relationship? YOU DECIDE!

I share all of this in the context of a biblically based relationship, and many have their own interpretation of that statement. I mean one that focuses on the Lord, has Him as the head and strives to be obedient and supportive to the Lord's purpose for the relationship.

Blessings my friends, your thoughts are always appreciated.

8 ways you can bet you’re ruining your relationship

Here are 8 ways you can bet you’re ruining your relationship and heading to splitsville.
 
1. Take your partner for granted.
There’s no better way to help hurry the end of the relationship than to just assume your partner is always there to make your life easier. Why are you together anyway? Is it just for you and your desires to be satisfied? I believe we should review, in our relationship, why we got together in the first place. Are “we” in this or are “you” in this?
 
It can be a death knell to make demands different from what was already tabled, understood and settled. Your partner may give in, but do you really think it does not have a negative impact when you change the rules in the middle of the game?
 
2. Stop talking.
You may talk too much. Your partner may not be a surefooted in their expressing their feelings and thoughts. You may be specific, precise and calculating. Our own actions can disrupt relationships equilibrium when we decide we know it all and we listen to only our desire and not the other party.
 
In any new relationship, to say to someone “be quiet” or any variance of expression like that is shooting your relationship in the foot. First, men don’t take kindly to such expressions from anyone and a new relationship, on embryonic ground in the first place, can be devastated by this attitude.
 
3. Expressing your feelings.
Feelings expressed in passing, expressed without directly addressing the object of our communication can be destructive. How would you react to your friend or family member sitting next to you, saying all sorts of negative things about you and acting as if you were nowhere in the room.

Unfortunately, we do this and may feel justified in some way but there is no justification for such actions. I would characterize this behavior as abuse that will ultimately result in the emasculation of men and the lowering of self esteem in both men and women.
 
4. Stop listening.
Nobody likes to not be heard. So there’s no better way to kill a relationship than to stop listening to what your partner has to say. Having your partner constantly repeat, or having to clarify, or having to say you didn’t hear the whole story is not a good way to start your marriage.

No matter what you may think or verbally convey - It shows a lack of respect for the person, and of course your significant other will pick up on the fact that you’re no longer (or never was) listening. If nobody’s listening, how can a relationship grow or thrive? Especially important is something called active listening, which shows your partner you’re actively engaged in the conversation.

As a Christian we may say, well, we are listening to God, oh now, I believe that to be a cop out to not take the responsibility to listen to our partner and adjust our behavior. We conveniently let God tell us we are OK, tell us this or that to console us while not paying attention to our personal actions that destroy our very relationship.

5. Kill the fun.
We hook up together in life for many reasons — shared perspectives and outlooks, physical attraction, shared spirituality, shared professional lives, etc. But we also enjoy one another’s company because it’s fun!

We all know that marriage is ‘WORK’ but at times we don’t realize how we begin to nullify the ‘fun’ part by our habitual behavior. What do I mean?

   1.If we don’t get our way, the tantrum mode kicks in. Now don’t always think that a tantrum is loud and characterized by the child on the floor flailing hands and feet around. There can be a calculated verbal tirade, in very quite tone that has the same effect.

   2.What it does is make the object of the outburst feel inadequate, lacking in whatever the verbal train carries as weight and results in the communication engine shutting down.

When fun leaves a relationship, it can be a sign that the relationship is heading to the rocks. Fun is a part of life and it’s definitely a part of any healthy relationship. By the way, fun is not joking about your partner in ways that denigrate or makes them fell less than they should.
 
6. Nitpick.
Boy, how we are guilty of this one! Many have probably nitpicked a few past relationships into an early death. Not because they wanted to, but because it was a personal concern whose impact the individuals never fully understood (until it was too late).

Nobody likes being told what to do, or how to do it. While some people may be more open to “suggestions” than other from their helpful partner, it can also be seen as nitpicking for little good reason.

Really? There’s a “better” way to clean the sink? That’s nice… use it the next time you do it then.

When you want to nitpick nowadays, just keep in mind that if you want to go to the trouble of offering unrequested advice, you might as well suggest you do it yourself.

Nitpicking may be a sign of needing to “control” others, but it may also just be a sign of the way some people were brought up. In any case, it’s a bad habit and one you should try and curtail in your relationship.
 
One aspect of nitpicking I’ve noticed is the constant correction that some spouses offload on the other. I was in an airport recently and noticed an older African American couple, the female was constantly badgering the male, go here, go there, do this do that! I watched him, his demeanor and his body language - it was as if he had resigned himself to listening and ignoring.

This may have not been a big issue for a couple married for fifty years, but let me caution you that it is a problem for new relationships. No one likes to be badgered and even if there are mistakes made, sometimes we should just let it be. Human beings make mistakes and constantly needling someone will never bring the fruit of a good sound relationship to the reality of our lives.

7. Threaten.
Wow, threatening your significant other is such a turn-on. Yeah, no it’s not. Whether you’re threatening to leave, chop off a bit of anatomy, tell someone’s parents, or find a better life in Maui, it’s never a good sign for a healthy relationship.

I encountered the threats of family members knowing this or that, the threat of what others might say about your relationship. None of this serves Godly or a positive purpose in your relationship. What will inevitably happen, sometime sooner or later is that the object of the threats will just take you to task and begin to ignore or just not do what is being demanded. Human nature is phenomenally complex, and the very thing that we want we begin to cause to not come to us because of our behavior. Please read, “Leadership and Self Deception” by the Arbinger Group – it is an eye opening discussion of how we cause ourselves to miss out on expectations because our actions nullify or void the very thing we are desiring.

Threats are often made in an act of desperation or feeling like a situation is out of control — the threat is an attempt to regain control. However, threats are juvenile and more suited for children’s temper tantrums than an adult, mature relationship. When a partner resorts to threats, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship’s long-term potential. And, if the threats start day one, what may be concluded?

8. Ignore your partner’s life and passion.
They say the one thing worse than being hated by someone is simply to be ignored by them. Being ignored means the person doesn’t even care enough to waste the energy of anger on you or your heart’s passion.

Some of us believe that when we get into a new relationship, one must drop everything and take up your passion, your desire, your purpose. That is a clearly one sided approach to relationship, have you ever considered what makes your partner get up in the morning, what is their hearts desire? And when they share, what do you say; do you minimize their thoughts, life, history and accomplishments? Or, do you encourage and support them in what they are doing and allow them to join you? So many of us are selfish and one sided in our approach to fall/winter relationships where family must be forgotten, career must be dropped and friends must go to facilitate something new.

SUMMARY
Let’s come back to reality, our life and its relationships require WORK between two, it cannot be one sided and the blame game like a tennis ball being lobbed across the net. Sometimes we feel that before we can get one return, several balls have come across to our side.

Is there an answer to all of this? Yes, an introspective look at what we have in our life that has contributed to bad habits, deep hurting words and actions that sear into our partners heart and life and renders them calloused or wounded enough to never want to have another relationship. Can we recover, yes, but it must be a personal look inside, stop trying to forgive the other, stop trying to figure out the other, begin to review yourself and determine what is necessary for the future.

As a well know chorus says, “it not about me!”



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SEVEN (7) ROADBLOCKS TO COMMUNICATION

It is amazing how we are unaware of actions that are derived from our habits and their ultimate influence on our world. There is always a reason for the experiences we have, we may use the Lord, blame upbringing or provide a myriad of other reasons but when it gets down to the bottom line, it is our own habits and lifestyle choices that cause the dilemmas in which we find ourselves.

We arrive at people, events and places in life that begin to challenge the very foundational aspect of our existence. We believe that we are perfect and infallible and ascribe all our decisions and choices to the Divine when in fact, based on the fruit, some clearly had no genesis in God.

To what then should we ascribe our decision? Is it personal bias, personal longing, desire to demonstrate a certain persona, or to further our sense and habit of controlling others by circuitous and subtle emotional, spiritual and physical strategies. It may be all or some.

But these are roadblock to developing a sound, rewarding and supportive relationship with our significant other or even our peers. These roadblocks to communication can stop communication dead in its tracks:

1. Instead of ‘active listening’ we hear what we want to and begin to use the “Why” questions. ‘Why’ questions tend to make people defensive, they send a message of doubt in the person’s cognitive and decision-making ability. NOT GOOD my friend.

2. The quick response to someone’s communication, saying things like, “Don’t worry about that” again demonstrates either your disinterest or your discomfort with the communicator’s abilities.

3. Then we have the entrance of the mode of Advising — “I think the best thing for you is to move to Kingston, or to do this or that.” It would be a better approach, when dealing with mature, stable and steady individuals to ‘ask,’ ‘how can I help?’ without first telling what they should. You may be absolutely on target with the advice but wrong in your approach.

4. Digging for information and forcing someone to talk about something they would rather not talk about. Especially, when an answer was already provided but you fail to accept it because of bias or for any other reason.

5. Patronizing — “You poor thing, I am here to fix your life.” What an incredible position to have, you, singularly, will correct all the ills that someone didn’t know, acknowledge or think they had. I believe this is God’s own territory, never man’s.

6. Preaching — “You should. . .” Or, “You shouldn’t. . .”

7. Interrupting — shows you aren’t interested in what someone is saying. I have had the occasion to recently observe communication that was started and in the middle of the conversation interrupted and the ‘interrupter’ just moved right along leaving the others in a mid-air hover wondering, ‘what just happened?”

Friends, many of us are no longer the young, roll with the punches, individuals we were in our teens. We have established the patterns of communication that we expect from our peer relationships and when it falls short, we are not always apt or willing to pursue a path of correction. Why not? It takes too much energy, too much time and can be an impossible situation to remedy if they are not aware of their own issues and willing to address them.

What does it take? Looking into the mirror of our lives and not seeing someone else but seeing us for who we really are. Then and only then will there be a possibility of developing a good sound means of communication in our relationships:

1. People won’t talk, because we don’t really listen
2. People won’t want relationship because they perceive that we want to control them
3. People won’t be vulnerable, because we are deprecating towards them
4. People won’t love because we demand it rather than earn it
5. People won’t change because change was your idea, not theirs

Learn to live, love, and have a life that is in Christ, one that cares for each other in the simplicity of His love and His compassion. Put away the self help books, the ‘divined’ excuses, and the false sense of superiority – find Christ, His humility and his compassion and find LOVE.

Pastor Winston Watson
Acts Church Jamaica

IS YOUR SUCCESS TO BE COMPARED AGAINST ANOTHER’S?

IS YOUR SUCCESS TO BE COMPARED AGAINST ANOTHER’S?

Success is a relative word. There is no rule of thumb - it depends on surroundings, upbringing, health and so on. In short three Es- Education and Experience will get Enlightenment or success but it may be short term. For sustainable success, I have provided the following thirty (30) tips taken from a lecture of 47 year old Randy Pausch, a computer science lecturer from Mellon University who soon after died of pancreatic cancer.

PERSONALITY:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't overdo; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

COMMUNITY:
15. Call your family often16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

LIFE:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30. If you know GOD you will always be joyful. So, be happy.

"For I have come that you might have life, and that more abundantly" John 10:10

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Prayer is more powerful than habits, heredity, and natural tendencies. It can overcome all these. It is more powerful than the forces that hold the planets in place. Prayer, though it comes from the heart of an unlearned child of God, can suspend the laws of the universe, if such be God’s will, just as the sun stood still when Joshua prayed. There is no other power on earth that the enemy of souls hates and fears as he does prayer. We are told that ‘Satan trembles when he sees the weakest saint upon his knees.’ “ - Matilda Andross "The Life That Wins"

DELIVERANCE FROM OUR PERSECUTORS

I come to you for protection, O Lord my God.  Save me from my persecutors—rescue me!
² If you don’t, they will maul me like a lion, tearing me to pieces with no one to rescue me.
³ O Lord my God, if I have done wrong or am guilty of injustice, ⁴ if I have betrayed a friend
or plundered my enemy without cause, ⁵ then let my enemies capture me. Let them trample me into the ground and drag my honor in the dust. ⁶ Arise, O Lord, in anger! Stand up against the fury of my enemies! Wake up, my God, and bring justice!

A WORD FROM THE LORD

The pride of your heart has deceived you, You who dwell in the clefts of the rock Whose habitation is high; You who say in your heart, ‘Who will bring me down to the ground?’ - Obadiah 1:3


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"A church, a ministry a place you have caused to rise. But a house of cards that is about to fall is your ultimate prize. Look about and examine yourself, for upon you and tho...se around shall judgment come as you have dealt. For arise from the east and from the west, from north and from the regions of the south … a drought, I say, dryness overtakes in my wake. Awake O ones, that have a heart to repent and experience what Nineveh found in their tent. For the Angel of the Lord shall arise now, and many shall fall before their own plow."

Prayer of Deliverance and Restoration

Prayer: Cyrus Anointing Flow

Praying for You

Praying Against Lying Tongues and Falsehood

A Prayer of Deliverance

PRAYER 2000's - 2012 Prayer Conference

I was asked to be a speaker at a couple of the venues of Prayer 2000's  2012 conference and so far we have been so blessed to participate in the event.  Praying for our nation as a Prophetic Watchman is a incredibly task that the Lord has given us and we do not take it lightly.  

Last night while minister in Falmouth, Trelawny, the Lord shared a point with me when asked how many parishes I have ministered in so far.  I had no idea so I began listing them on the back of one of my sermon notes pages. 

As I did so, I realized I have so far only missed three and to me that is incredible.  An unknown man, returning from America with no particular gift but God and prayer has had such an opportunity receive such a blessing to be used by God in eleven of the fourteen parishes of our island.  

God is indeed a good God and most gracious to us who beleive.