Thursday, August 30, 2012


"GOD, God-of-Heaven, the great and awesome God, loyal to your covenant and faithful to those who love you and obey your commands: Look at me and hear my prayer. Pay attention to this prayer of your servant that I am praying day and night in intercession for your servants, the people of the islands of the sea, confessing the sins of the people. And I am including myself, I and my ancestors, my brothers and sisters among those who have sinned against you.

"We have treated you like you are nothing: We have not done what you told us, have not followed your commands, and have not respected the decisions and instructions you have given unto us. You said if we come back to you and do what you tell us to do, you will mark us with your name, deliver us and revive us.

"Well, here we are — your servants, your people whom you so powerfully and impressively redeemed. O Master, listen to me, listen to your servant's prayer—and yes, to all your servants who delight in honoring you—and make me successful today so that I receive what I pray for."

Open the heavens and come down, make yourself known unto me and your people in the islands of the sea and make manifest your name in all the earth. REVIVE US AGAIN!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


Mayra Martin (FB) wrote: A Christian writer wrote, “If someone were to ask whether communications skills or meekness is most important to a relation ship, I’d answer meekness, hands down. You can be a superb communicator but still never have the humility to ask, ‘Is it I?’ Communication skills are no substitute for Christ like attributes. As Dr. Douglas Brinley has observed, ‘Without theological perspectives, secular exercises designed to improve our relationship and our communication skills will never work any permanent change in one’s heart: they simply develop more clever and skilled fighters!”

― John By the way, When Times Are Tough: 5 Scriptures That Will Help You Get Through Almost AnythingSee More


Sister Myra, an Interesting and poignant commentary. The writer you cited is absolutely on target in his observation. Meekness is by far not something that I see in many of our contemporaries who attempt to correct or instruct. We correct, instruct and chide because of our desire to control and not always to be the guiding light that the Lord would desire.
In that same light, I see a caustic and abrasive method of communication that is camouflaged in ‘thus saith the Lord.’ It is especially challenging when those closest to us cannot communicate on a normal level but would couch their insecurities, wants and aspirations in what the “Lord said” when we know quite well that He did not utter nor inspire no such revelation or word.
So what is "meekness?" The word "meekness" comes from the Greek word prautes, which depicts the attitude or demeanor of a person who is forbearing, patient, and slow to respond in anger; one who remains in control of himself in the face of insults or injuries. In the Greek language, the word prautes("meekness") conveys the idea of a high and noble ideal to be aspired to in one's life. Although an injurious situation may normally produce a rash or angry outburst, a meek person is controlled by kindness, gentleness, mildness, or even friendliness. 
The word "meekness" pictures a strong- willed person who has learned to submit his will to a higher authority. He isn't weak; he is controlled. He may in fact possess a strong will and a powerful character; he may be a person who has his own opinion. But this person has learned the secret of submitting to those who are over him. Thus, he is one who knows how to bring his will under control. In rare instances, the word prautes("meekness") was used to describe wild animals that had become tame because it correctly conveyed the idea of a wild, fierce will under control.
This means when the Spirit is producing meekness in your life, you are controlled even in difficult circumstances. Rather than fly into a rage and throw a temper tantrum, you are able to remain silent and keep your emotions and temper under control. If you find yourself in a situation that you fiercely believe is wrong, you are still able to stay silent until the appropriate moment to speak or until you have been asked for your opinion. You know how to control yourself and your emotions.

In addition to these meanings, the word "meekness" was also used in a medical sense to denote soothing medication to calm the angry mind. A meek person doesn't project the countenance of one who is offended, upset, angry, or reactive to insults or injuries. Instead, he is so gentle and mild in his response that he becomes soothing medicine for the angry or upset soul, or for a troublesome or unsettling situation.

So take a moment to examine the way you respond to insults, injuries, or volatile situations. Do you find that you are often a contributor to a heated and potentially explosive atmosphere? Or does your presence bring peace into the midst of the conflict? When others say or do something that could offend you, do you quickly retort with a harsh answer, or are you able to control your emotions and temper, remaining silent until a more appropriate time to speak?

The flesh loves to rage out of control, but when meekness is being produced in you by the Holy Spirit, it will make you careful and controlled. Your very presence will become God's soothing medication for angry, upset people, and you will impart peace to situations that hitherto were unsettling and unstable.

A case in point is one of my recent posting!/notes/pastor-winston-watson/recognizing-pride-knowing-yourself/10151154301015399


(Sparkling Gems from the Greek by Rick Renner)

Saturday, August 25, 2012


"I freed thousands of slaves. I could have freed more, if they had known they were slaves." -Harriet Tubman

I was reflecting on the many Birthday greetings, the hurricane, our season of prayer, my season of fasting to begin again, when I saw a post from Pastor Maurice in NY.

It borders on a sharp sword penetrating a veil and ripping it to threads to open up a vista of opportunity and insight. Do we dread truth? This is truth that must be embraced both spiritually and naturally? Realize that there is indeed a slavery 'upon' us that we must shed with all our might and with divine wisdom.
Let us all earnestly flee from the 'bondage' of 'religion,' social bondage and politicalism (my word) that keeps us ignorant and carries an opium like stupor for the masses. Political bondage that territorializes our thoughts and actions rendering us incapable of rational thought and actions. 
Christianity, my own system of beliefs, does not say accept the status quo but say, "we can be better that we have been!" We must strive for the masteries and pursue excellence and success with all that is within us.
Run my friends, run with all your might the race set before you as you see your own GOLD at the end! Selah!

Monday, August 6, 2012


Each relationship is unique becaue of the various combinations of traits and characteristics of and circumstances related to the people involved. Although every relationship is different, I beleive all relationship may be categorized in these three major types. The types tend to indicate the primary reason for the relationship in the first place or at times the evloution of a relationship. They are: 1) Social, 2) Intimate, 3) Therapeutic

The social relationship's function is for friendship, companionship, socializatoin or can be forged because of a common task or purpose. Communication here may be superficial, casual and requires little emotional investment for the most part.

An Intimate relationship on the other hand is much more complex. It involves two people who are emotionally committed to each other. The individuals are interested in havinig their needs met and also meeting the needs of the other party. This kind of relationship may include the physical side of intimacy as well as a sharing of mutual goals, vision and lifestyle.

Then we have the Therapeutic relationship type. It focuses on the needs, experiences, feelings and ideas of the other party. Therapeutic relationships are usually one way, directed to support, enhance, correct, nurture or develop the other party into a better person and can be even seen in the context of mentoring or coaching.

Which do you want to focus on in your personal relationship and marriage? A marriage cannot be viewed as therapeutic in its entire context but there may be aspects of personal development that each individual experiences. When one person begins to correct, and provide "therapy" to another it no longer becomes a marriage but another kind of relationship. It cannot be just a social interacton either but must also have its season of intimacy.

As individuals, we all have our own boundaries, likes, dislikes and we must communicate those with those with whom we are in relationship. It is incumbent on us to always be open and sharing, listening and at least attempting to understand the context and heart of what is being communicated with us.

What challenges us, and our relatioinships is the need to control. Our empirical context of relathionships may be flawed, or it may be on target for our life as an individual. But, how does that play into a new relationship, do we carry the template of our former relationships, our family life, our personal biases (good or bad) to dictate the ongoing parameters of where we are headed in marriage or close friendships?

We read self help books, study well meaning authors, view and listen to men's experiences but does it all relate to the indivually unique bond of relationiship for us? I want to encourage each one of you to begin a new paradigm of thought for where you are headed - is this how Mom did it? is this how the book told me to do it? is this what the TV Counselor said? or we may ask ourselves, is this my own preconception of what this relationship should be.

Let's awake to the reality that the framework of your relationship depends on parameters that you define, the constrants and liberties that you decide. A clear communication of that template and its deployment will yield a great and ongoing interaction or bring misunderstandings and misinterpretations. Additionally, unexpressed expectations not included in the original framework can cause the whole house to crumble when they are introduced and our partner is blindsided by their introduction. The relationship tapestry of our life is made up of a variety of experiences, desires, thoughts, and other intangibles - where do you want to go in your life with this relationship? YOU DECIDE!

I share all of this in the context of a biblically based relationship, and many have their own interpretation of that statement. I mean one that focuses on the Lord, has Him as the head and strives to be obedient and supportive to the Lord's purpose for the relationship.

Blessings my friends, your thoughts are always appreciated.

Friday, August 3, 2012

8 ways you can bet you’re ruining your relationship

Here are 8 ways you can bet you’re ruining your relationship and heading to splitsville.
1. Take your partner for granted.
There’s no better way to help hurry the end of the relationship than to just assume your partner is always there to make your life easier. Why are you together anyway? Is it just for you and your desires to be satisfied? I believe we should review, in our relationship, why we got together in the first place. Are “we” in this or are “you” in this?
It can be a death knell to make demands different from what was already tabled, understood and settled. Your partner may give in, but do you really think it does not have a negative impact when you change the rules in the middle of the game?
2. Stop talking.
You may talk too much. Your partner may not be a surefooted in their expressing their feelings and thoughts. You may be specific, precise and calculating. Our own actions can disrupt relationships equilibrium when we decide we know it all and we listen to only our desire and not the other party.
In any new relationship, to say to someone “be quiet” or any variance of expression like that is shooting your relationship in the foot. First, men don’t take kindly to such expressions from anyone and a new relationship, on embryonic ground in the first place, can be devastated by this attitude.
3. Expressing your feelings.
Feelings expressed in passing, expressed without directly addressing the object of our communication can be destructive. How would you react to your friend or family member sitting next to you, saying all sorts of negative things about you and acting as if you were nowhere in the room.

Unfortunately, we do this and may feel justified in some way but there is no justification for such actions. I would characterize this behavior as abuse that will ultimately result in the emasculation of men and the lowering of self esteem in both men and women.
4. Stop listening.
Nobody likes to not be heard. So there’s no better way to kill a relationship than to stop listening to what your partner has to say. Having your partner constantly repeat, or having to clarify, or having to say you didn’t hear the whole story is not a good way to start your marriage.

No matter what you may think or verbally convey - It shows a lack of respect for the person, and of course your significant other will pick up on the fact that you’re no longer (or never was) listening. If nobody’s listening, how can a relationship grow or thrive? Especially important is something called active listening, which shows your partner you’re actively engaged in the conversation.

As a Christian we may say, well, we are listening to God, oh now, I believe that to be a cop out to not take the responsibility to listen to our partner and adjust our behavior. We conveniently let God tell us we are OK, tell us this or that to console us while not paying attention to our personal actions that destroy our very relationship.

5. Kill the fun.
We hook up together in life for many reasons — shared perspectives and outlooks, physical attraction, shared spirituality, shared professional lives, etc. But we also enjoy one another’s company because it’s fun!

We all know that marriage is ‘WORK’ but at times we don’t realize how we begin to nullify the ‘fun’ part by our habitual behavior. What do I mean?

   1.If we don’t get our way, the tantrum mode kicks in. Now don’t always think that a tantrum is loud and characterized by the child on the floor flailing hands and feet around. There can be a calculated verbal tirade, in very quite tone that has the same effect.

   2.What it does is make the object of the outburst feel inadequate, lacking in whatever the verbal train carries as weight and results in the communication engine shutting down.

When fun leaves a relationship, it can be a sign that the relationship is heading to the rocks. Fun is a part of life and it’s definitely a part of any healthy relationship. By the way, fun is not joking about your partner in ways that denigrate or makes them fell less than they should.
6. Nitpick.
Boy, how we are guilty of this one! Many have probably nitpicked a few past relationships into an early death. Not because they wanted to, but because it was a personal concern whose impact the individuals never fully understood (until it was too late).

Nobody likes being told what to do, or how to do it. While some people may be more open to “suggestions” than other from their helpful partner, it can also be seen as nitpicking for little good reason.

Really? There’s a “better” way to clean the sink? That’s nice… use it the next time you do it then.

When you want to nitpick nowadays, just keep in mind that if you want to go to the trouble of offering unrequested advice, you might as well suggest you do it yourself.

Nitpicking may be a sign of needing to “control” others, but it may also just be a sign of the way some people were brought up. In any case, it’s a bad habit and one you should try and curtail in your relationship.
One aspect of nitpicking I’ve noticed is the constant correction that some spouses offload on the other. I was in an airport recently and noticed an older African American couple, the female was constantly badgering the male, go here, go there, do this do that! I watched him, his demeanor and his body language - it was as if he had resigned himself to listening and ignoring.

This may have not been a big issue for a couple married for fifty years, but let me caution you that it is a problem for new relationships. No one likes to be badgered and even if there are mistakes made, sometimes we should just let it be. Human beings make mistakes and constantly needling someone will never bring the fruit of a good sound relationship to the reality of our lives.

7. Threaten.
Wow, threatening your significant other is such a turn-on. Yeah, no it’s not. Whether you’re threatening to leave, chop off a bit of anatomy, tell someone’s parents, or find a better life in Maui, it’s never a good sign for a healthy relationship.

I encountered the threats of family members knowing this or that, the threat of what others might say about your relationship. None of this serves Godly or a positive purpose in your relationship. What will inevitably happen, sometime sooner or later is that the object of the threats will just take you to task and begin to ignore or just not do what is being demanded. Human nature is phenomenally complex, and the very thing that we want we begin to cause to not come to us because of our behavior. Please read, “Leadership and Self Deception” by the Arbinger Group – it is an eye opening discussion of how we cause ourselves to miss out on expectations because our actions nullify or void the very thing we are desiring.

Threats are often made in an act of desperation or feeling like a situation is out of control — the threat is an attempt to regain control. However, threats are juvenile and more suited for children’s temper tantrums than an adult, mature relationship. When a partner resorts to threats, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship’s long-term potential. And, if the threats start day one, what may be concluded?

8. Ignore your partner’s life and passion.
They say the one thing worse than being hated by someone is simply to be ignored by them. Being ignored means the person doesn’t even care enough to waste the energy of anger on you or your heart’s passion.

Some of us believe that when we get into a new relationship, one must drop everything and take up your passion, your desire, your purpose. That is a clearly one sided approach to relationship, have you ever considered what makes your partner get up in the morning, what is their hearts desire? And when they share, what do you say; do you minimize their thoughts, life, history and accomplishments? Or, do you encourage and support them in what they are doing and allow them to join you? So many of us are selfish and one sided in our approach to fall/winter relationships where family must be forgotten, career must be dropped and friends must go to facilitate something new.

Let’s come back to reality, our life and its relationships require WORK between two, it cannot be one sided and the blame game like a tennis ball being lobbed across the net. Sometimes we feel that before we can get one return, several balls have come across to our side.

Is there an answer to all of this? Yes, an introspective look at what we have in our life that has contributed to bad habits, deep hurting words and actions that sear into our partners heart and life and renders them calloused or wounded enough to never want to have another relationship. Can we recover, yes, but it must be a personal look inside, stop trying to forgive the other, stop trying to figure out the other, begin to review yourself and determine what is necessary for the future.

As a well know chorus says, “it not about me!”